The so-called successful people on this planet are so busy that they often forget why they work in the first place. One technique we can use to get grounded is to think of the end game of our lives. Or, in other words, ask how you want to be on your deathbed. This article shows how important the above question can be. 

Identity versus being

Before we talk about the question at hand, let us examine the importance of how you make the question. A good friend of mine, when checking this blog for typos, saw the title and told that it should write “Who I want to be”, rather than “how I want to be”. This made me ask: Is identity more important than the quality of life? Are these two necessarily connected?

Many believe that you have to be somebody important to be happy. Yet, when we experience happiness, we do not usually care who we are; we do not even think about it. Do not believe this; just see for yourself. When you are happy, are you joyful because you enjoy life or because of all the power, wealth, and identity you hold?

Often, you may notice that having a strict identity prevents you from enjoying life. And it does not really matter what identity you have. Whether it is a socially labeled “good” or “bad” identity, if you consider your identity the highest in your life, you make it difficult for yourself to be happy. 

For example, think of the “bad” identity of a terrorist and the “good” identity of a Christian. If you consider your mission, whether this is to destroy a city or get a ticket to paradise, as the most sacred thing in your life, then you have no time nor room to enjoy life to its fullest. If you are thinking only of your mission, all it matters is the end goal, not the journey.

Thinking of the end game 

In general, living in the moment is superior to expecting the next moment. After all, if you think about it, the next moment never comes. Yet, it can help if you have a direction in your life. Knowing where you are heading can motivate you to keep forward and grow in your journey of life. 

As a result, on one level, it can help to think of the end game. But what exactly is that end game? If you try to place it 10, 20, or 50 years from now, then chances are this would not be the end game. It would be some other stage of your life, not the end. After all, it is in human nature to always want more.

So the end game is nothing less than the moment of your death. At least, this is the last moment we know we exist for sure. If you are afraid of it and do not want to think about it, note that it is the only moment of our lives that we know will happen for sure. Ask yourself how do you want to be at this moment? If it matters to you, also ask what setting would you like to have around your deathbed. It could be family, friends, comfort, and others.

Most importantly, think of what would be the most important thing in your life during this last moment. Would that be your life partner, family, experiences, memory, quality of life, legacy, or something else? Clarify what would matter to you the most during the last hour of your life. You now know your end game. The next step is to do the things that will get you there. 

Takeaway

• If you consider your identity the highest in your life, you make it difficult for yourself to be happy. 
• Knowing where you are heading can motivate you to keep forward and grow in your journey of life. 
• Ask what would be the most important thing in your life during your last moment. How do you want your life to be before it ends?