How many friends have you had in your life? Are there at least one or two that are always there for you and you for them? This article presents a definition of real friendship, even between different sexes.
What friendship isn’t
We may play with words, but friendship is not about giving and taking, especially the latter. A relationship based on transactions is not a friendship. It is a different kind of bond where each party is supposed to give something in order to take something else.
For example, if you want the other person to love you, you may do all kinds of things to achieve that. When you do, you have not formed a friendship. At most, you have made a successful transaction or investment, if you prefer. In a real friendship, you already love the other person in the first place.
At the same time, real friendships don’t depend on the context you are currently in life because context can change, but a real friendship remains. For example, think of terms such as college friends, professional friends, or sports friends. These are all acquaintances you have made at different stages or areas in your life. In other words: these are relationships based on transactions.
The definition of real friendship
A real friendship boils down to HOW and WHY the relationship came to life or grew into a friendship. As long as you form and maintain a relationship according to your needs, it is not a friendship. When you have a relationship just for the sake of relationship, then you have a real friendship!
A relationship may start as a give-and-take transaction, but if it grows beyond that, it can become a friendship. In other words, all the people you know are candidates for becoming your friends. After all, you need to know someone to become friends. So, look around and find those people, and your life will become so much more blessed!
You will understand if a relationship has grown to a real friendship if you can compare it with your relationships with beloved family members. When you spend time with your friend, you feel a sense of union and a sense of becoming one in some way. It is no wonder most successful and loving marriages are between people who are first friends and then a couple.
A Friendship between different sexes
That is a somewhat complicated topic. Survival instincts may interfere with the “holiness” of friendship. When these instincts appear, even in thoughts, your relationship automatically turns into a need-based one. In other words, the friendship degrades into a transaction.
If you, however, consciously decide to have kids together, then a friendship can be the building block for a joyful and loving family. Yet, the question remains: If such a family decision is yet to come or won’t come, can there be friendship between different sexes?
Speaking from experience, a friendship between people of different sex is possible. And it can be one of the most meaningful relationships you can have with another person. As long as you somehow take the sexual element out of the equation, this friendship can grow into something wonderful!
Perhaps, that could very well be the whole meaning of a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. The word “friend” in there is no coincidence.
Takeaway in this definition of real friendship
- A relationship based on transactions is not a friendship. When you have a relationship just for the sake of relationship, then you have a real friendship!
- When you spend time with your friend, you feel a sense of union and a sense of becoming one in some way.
- Friendship between people of different sex is possible. It is no wonder most successful and loving marriages are between people who are first friends and then a couple.