We can use everything for our growth. Every little thing, no matter how irrelevant it can sound, has the power to improve our lives. The science of body language reveals a great technique for building rapport with others. That technique is called mirroring.

Huh, mirroring? What is it?

Imagine you are looking at a mirror for the first time. You basically see in front of you a figure that does exactly what you do. Well, not exactly. Close enough though. When you raise your right hand, the figure opposite of you raises its left hand.

Mirroring is essentially just that. You do what the other person in front of you does. When you do that, you create a bond between you and the other person. Unconsciously, they like you more than before. Even though it works in all cases, it can be especially useful when meeting new people.

When you want to build rapport with somebody, you can try to mirror their seating position, posture, body angle, gestures, expressions, or tone of voice. Before long, they’ll start to feel that there’s something about you they like. They’ll describe you as “easy to be with”. That is because they see themselves reflected in you.

Asking the important 3-letter word

Let us take a step back and ask “Why”. Why do we need rapport in the first place? No matter how important, independent, or powerful we may feel, we all depend on each other. It is easy to see that unless of course, you don’t want to.

Think of your work. Would your work be possible if you were the only person in the world? Even if your job is as an ant collector, you still depend on others to make a living. There is only one situation in which you would claim to be truly independent of other people. That would be living in a remote cave or forest, just like our oooold ancestors did before they came together in societies.

The fact is that there is no chance you are truly independent. After all, you are using an electronic device to read this text. And this device needs power. Chances are you pay someone else to provide you with the necessary electricity.

Balance is key

We need to build rapport with other people because we work together to survive and make our lives better. However, as always, a balance is recommended. Taking extreme care, effort, and time to build rapport with everybody around us does not necessarily create a joyful and loving world.

You can find the people that matter the most to you. Or if you want to be practical, you build rapport with the people you absolutely have to in order to improve your and their lives. If you try to satisfy everyone, you may become a wreck in the process.

Building rapport with somebody requires effort, compromises, and persistence. It is impossible to please everyone. Even the most magnificent hotels or most renowned chefs have at least a few negative reviews. It is fine and it is expected. You use those opinions to become better.


  • When you want to build rapport with somebody, you can try to mirror their seating position, posture, body angle, gestures, expressions, or tone of voice.
  • We need to build rapport with others because we work together and depend on each other to survive and make our lives better
  • It is impossible to please everyone. You can choose to build rapport with people you have to and want to in order to improve both your life and their lives.

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